Sunday, August 8, 2010

Another Blurb for A Troll Wife's Tale

Here's my second version of a blurb for Anne Mini. Again, any and all feedback is welcome. Do you like it better or worse than the first version? (This one is 250 words exactly.)

I took stock of my injuries. I hadn't even been on the job a month and I had 14 bruises, a concussion, multiple cuts and abrasions, a broken bone, and now, a gunshot wound. Being a tooth fairy shouldn't be this hard.

But it is this hard, and I knew it a few days into the job when I met Oubliette. Oubliette was said to have killed millions of humans during the Plague War hundreds of years ago. The only thing that ended the war was a pact between the humans and the faeish. Tooth fairies keep that pact every time we give a coin for a child's tooth. But Oubliette isn't ready to end the war, which means anyone that has lost a tooth, but didn't get a coin for it, is in danger.

One of my new friends is a homeless boy with his first loose tooth.

Being a tooth fairy isn't all bad. I love flying with the magical wings they gave me. For the first time in my life, I'm making friends. The wings make us all look alike so no one cares that I'm a troll. Of course, I wasn't given full disclosure about the wings. They interfere with my magic in strange ways. 

I think I've discovered something else. Something wrong with the tooth fairies. Now I have to stop Oubliette before Peter loses his tooth, and find a way to get myself out of this tooth fairy web. And maybe keep the wings?

The really cool thing about the blurb is that it works as a query. But for some reason, a blurb is easier to write than a query. Go figure!

3 comments:

  1. I like the first version better for a blurb.

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  2. I really like this for your query. It's funny, it shows your voice and the stakes are clear. I read the one at the top of your posts, I don't like it as much as this one. It's still good, I just think this one flows better.
    Don't you wish someone would have told you how much this part of the writing process sucks?

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for posting a comment! I know that sounds a little needy, and maybe it is. I mean, I don't need comment validation to know that I exist, right? But I like to know that someone else (maybe you?) has read what I wrote and felt moved enough to reply. So, thank you.