Sunday, November 17, 2013

In Which I Beat Myself Up

In Stephen King's book "On Writing" he mentions a story about his son playing a musical instrument. The son was supposed to practice for 30 minutes a day, which he did. But he only practiced 30 minutes a day. Stephen King said he knew his son didn't have passion for that instrument, because he only did the bare minimum requirement.

I'm finding NaNoWriMo to be like that. I'm making my word count every day, but I'm only doing that. When I get caught up in a scene, I stop when I hit my word count for the day. I beat myself up over that. Maybe I don't have the dedication or passion to be a "real writer". Heck, do I even spend enough interest, passion, time on this to describe it as a hobby? When I have free time, do I think, "Oh yay, now I can go write something?" Or do I use that time for reading or watching tv.

Then, after I'm done beating myself up, I use a technique I learned a long time ago, to deal with that abusive critic that lives in most of our heads.

1. I'm using NaNoWriMo as a way to build a daily writing habit. Like rebuilding muscles after being ill for a long time. (Because depression does that to you.)
2. I've learned that stopping in the middle of the scene makes it that much easier to pick it up the next day. Thank you, NaNoWriMo!
3. Passion is hard for someone with depression to access. I count the fact that I'm writing at all, to be a success. Those feelings (like passion) will come back, as I continue to heal and improve.
4. I enjoy writing. I don't have to write for eight hours a day to prove that. The fact that I keep coming back to writing, that I think about it, even when I can't do it, or that I'm always writing scenes in my head, even if I don't always get them down on paper shows me that I do enjoy it.

So. Still working on NaNoWriMo. Still making my daily word count. Still enjoying the story I'm working on :)

Sunday, November 10, 2013

In Which I Am Still In NaNoWriMo

I'm still making my word count in NaNoWriMo. It helps that people are interested enough to ask if I made my word count for the day :)

Typo(s) of the day:
"He jumped up with an energy that denied his ears" (Of course, I meant "years" not "ears") and I keep typing "dead" when I mean to type "dad". It's a good thing Freud doesn't live here :)

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

In Which I Am Doing NaNoWriMo

Yes, I'm writing again! I've switched my depression meds from whatever it was to Wellbutrin. There wasn't a dramatic difference, but I did start having feelings again. Things that I didn't have the energy to care about, I started caring about again. So, word from the other side of darkness. If you are on meds, and you still don't care, talk about switching meds. I'm not recommending Wellbutrin, mind you. Everyone's depression is different and it may even be that different episodes are different. It's kind of a hit or miss thing to find the meds that will work for you.

But, I was still feeling fragile. I was afraid I didn't have my writing chops back yet. I was having a wonderful time on Pinterest, but that doesn't involve any writing. I knew NaNoWriMo was coming up, of course, who didn't. I've participated three times, but only won once. But that was for a novel that introduced me my troll character and got her her own book, ("Scratched").

And then NaNoWriMo sent an email from "my novel". "Please write me". I didn't even read the email, just the title was enough. On Oct 31, I decided to join NaNoWriMo again this year.

Today I hit my 10,000 word count, so I'm right on target. The story is flowing well (so far), though I'm having a terrible time not editing as I'm going. I keep telling myself, "Just get the words out. Fix them later." I really miss my writer's group and their feedback and insights.

I worry about Penny (my character in "Penny's Luck"). Is she too knowledgeable? Too naive? Is what she doing making internal sense for the character? Am I leaving Cal's deafness unrevealed for too long? Does it work? But then, I'm just enjoying the story. I like Penny. She's a teenager. She strong, she's smart, and she tries to take care of her dad too much.

But, it's day 6. I'm writing. I'm on track, and my son checks on my word count every day :)

Friday, May 10, 2013

Signs That Dylan Wants To Bite You

Three signs that Dylan wants to bite you:
1. Dylan is sitting on his chair.
2. Dylan is sticking out his tongue, looking cute.
3. Dylan is breathing.

Cure for face blindness?

I have face blindness. In many ways, it doesn't affect my day to day life, but I didn't become a teacher because of it. It has greatly affected my career choices. Now I've read that a team in Germany is working on a cure for prosopagnosia. So, is this something I need to "cure", or is it the way I am? If it involves brain surgery (couldn't tell from the article) is it something I'm willing to risk?

I'm using my feelings in my current WiP, with regards to a question about cochlear implants.

Writers are funny :)

Monday, February 27, 2012

In Which I Am Not A Zombie

I'm not a zombie, recently returned from the dead, even if I might feel like that some days :)

So, time for a brief catch up. Well, I can't think of anything, except I have a second son now. My son's best friend has moved in with us, and he fits in with this family as though he were born here. This works out especially well in the cat to human ratio. Before, the cats outnumbered us, now we're equal again.

The real reason I was gone?  I'd love to say that it was for a good reason. Or even a bad-but-interesting reason. Unfortunately, the fact is that I was dealing with a bout of major depression. In the words of The Blogess, "Depression is a lying bastard. Things will get better. I promise."

I'm on medication, which helps, and writing again, which helps even more. And I'm missing my writer community, which shows that I'm feeling a ton better. Depression (for me) feels like a weight that just flattens everything. I'm taking baby steps, rejoining the world again. So, in true tech fashion:

"Hello, world"

(Also, it just started hailing outside, which delights us all. Well, except for the cats.)

Monday, August 22, 2011

In Which Love YA Has A Contest

Quick! Quick! Quick! Get over to Love YA to submit to the Vickie Motter judged contest. Closes when the entries hit 50! Go now!

Saturday, August 20, 2011

In Which I Get Another Story Idea

his one has been haunting me for years*, but it's been getting literal** over the past few days. So, it's officially going on the to "to be written" list. It's a story about a cop with tinnitus. Yeah, it doesn't sound like much when I put it that way, but there's a story in there. Trust me, I'm a writer :)

*Technically, it was the first book I ever tried to write. I think I was in junior high. It never got past the opening paragraph, but man what a paragraph!
"How did you know where that guy was?" 
She shrugged, "I just heard him." She wondered how her partner had failed to hear the music in the warehouse.
Stellar writing there. Deathly prose, even.

**Yes, I have symptoms of tinnitus. However, I find that elements of stories tend to "manifest" for me, until I acknowledge them. Then they go away. When I was writing Scratched, every night for weeks I would hear a loud banging as I was going to sleep. No one was knocking on the door, and nothing was falling over. Finally, in desperation of getting some sleep, I promised to include Tommyknockers in the story. The banging stopped. It's like that thing where med students think they have whatever disease it is they're studying at the moment. Or like writer's hypochondria.

In Which My Son Offers Writing Advice

s my son and I were talking yesterday, he said something funny, and I said, "Oh, I'm totally going to use that line in Penny's Luck". He said, "How will you use it?" and then we proceeded to talk about the book for the next few minutes.

After I talked about some of the scenes, he interrupted me. "I'm sorry, but I'm just not feeling it. Where's the ticking clock? There's no sense of urgency here."

That's my boy! (And he's totally correct. I need a ticking clock in this story.)

Thursday, August 18, 2011

In Which Mandy Hubbard Judges A Contest

 know you love contests as much as I do! Quick! Get over to We Do Write for a Twitter pitch contest judged by Mandy Hubbard!.