Monday, July 4, 2011

In Which I Discuss The "Crazy Cat Lady" Formula

In my bio, I currently describe myself as "one cat short of 'crazy cat lady'". Exactly how many cats does it take to make a crazy cat lady? I'm glad you asked!

It's actually a very complicated math formula. It's based on income*, available space for litter boxes**, the number of people (hands for petting) available in the house, and how many cat you currently have. (Notice I don't say "own", since cats own you, not the other way around.)

In my case, I have not reached crazy cat lady status, because I have one less cat than crazy cat lady status requires. The really nice thing about this formula is that I will *always* have one less cat than crazy cat lady status, no matter how many cats I have.

*Income: if you have more cats than you can afford to care for, use the variable X. If you make more than 100,000 a year, use the variable Y. If you make more than 100,000 a year, and you have more cats than you can afford, use the variable "Certified Crazy Cat Lady".

**Crazy Cat Ladies tend to have their cats be indoor cats. Indoor cats live 12+ years, while indoor/outdoor cats tend to live less than four.

1 comment:

  1. That formula sounds pretty solid to me! And--indoor is so much better for our little furry friends. :)

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for posting a comment! I know that sounds a little needy, and maybe it is. I mean, I don't need comment validation to know that I exist, right? But I like to know that someone else (maybe you?) has read what I wrote and felt moved enough to reply. So, thank you.