In Which I Muse About Bios

uthor bios have been described as "Insert quirky personal trait, mention where you live, include marital status, progeny (if any), and list pets." When trying to create a bio for my website, I wanted to include something that could be used as an author bio on a book, but (and this is the important part) I didn't want it to be the standard author bio formula.

What I came up with was: Suzi McGowen has been telling and writing stories for more years than she can count. (Math was never her strong point.) She lives in Southern California with her husband, her genius son (math is his strong point), and their not-yet-too-many cats.

Oops.

Ok, so theoretically, I'm a creative person. So why not be creative in a bio?

Suzi McGowen took up writing after an on the job injury ended her career in international espionage. Her house is perfectly chosen to be defensible in case of zombie attack, and a pride of miniaturized lions guard the house when she is gone on one of her frequent trips to an undisclosed European country whose name rhymes with "love". She is also a professional liar.

Maybe not.