In Which I Write a (Mock) Query Letter

Query letters. Love 'em or hate 'em, they're a good opportunity for angsty goodness. So, I decided to create one (just for fun! I swear!) that might appear on Slushpile Hell.

Dear Agent,

Here's my book. I'm aiming at the "avid reader" market. The people that will read everything, even the labels on ketchup bottles. (Not catsup bottles, that's just weird.) In short, my book will best be enjoyed by people that will read anything, even if it's a pile of drek. Not that my book is a pile of drek, though it may have some issues. 

Your Chirographic Scribe,
Me