Plea to friends, Gods, and family

Someday, gods willing, I will have a book published. With my first book, I don't expect this to happen. And if I'm lucky enough and stubborn enough to sell a second book, it probably won't happen then, either. But when/if I get a third book published, I'm asking now, please don't let it happen to me, and if you see that I'm doing it, kindly thonk me on the head, ok?

"It" is called by different names in different industries. With cops, "it" is called "badge heavy". It means tossing your weight around. It means you feel you've paid your dues, and now you're an expert, but no one else is calling you that, so you just tell everyone you are. With authors, I'm guessing it would be called "ink heavy". It's conveyed in a slightly jaded, slightly patronizing tone, and invariably it causes you to mention how many books you have published. It doesn't even have to be relevant to the topic of conversation.

Example:
Newbie Questioner: "I'm thinking about getting a puppy! Does anyone know where I can get some good books on picking a breed of dog?"
Ink Heavy Author: "I've published three books, and while none of them have been on picking dogs, I can tell you that picking a breed of dog is like picking an agent. In fact, I remember when I picked my agent...(blah, blah, blah)"

Another example:
Newbie Questioner: "I'm going to make some cookies for my True Love, but I don't have any good chocolate chip cookie recipes. Can someone recommend one?"
Ink Heavy Author: "In the third book that I had published, one of my characters makes a killer peanut butter tart. In fact, I have some mention of food in all three of the books that I've published, even though none of them are about cooking."

Some authors grow out of it, some never seem to. I'm hoping it's not a write of passage (groan for bad pun).

(Side note, taking pride in being published, and being overjoyed in the publishing of your books is an entirely different thing, and both wonderful and appropriate, to my way of thinking.)

(Side, side, note. No one on my friends list is doing this, because if you were doing it, you wouldn't be on my friends list :)